|I don't understand why I'm being treated so shabbily after all my years of shameless grovelin'! Why, I even pretended you earned my respect and admiration!|
Escargoon is one of the principal characters and supporting villains of the anime series Kirby: Right Back at Ya. He is an anthropomorphic snail-like creature who serves as King Dedede's primary assistant and is almost always at his side, despite Escargoon's misgivings toward him. Escargoon has a generally rotten personality, though he is more often sympathetic than Dedede is primarily due to the regular abuse he receives from the king. He often likes to bully his fellow Castle Dedede residents, though he just as often pleads to them for help when he has a serious problem.
In the 4Kids English dub, Escargoon is voiced by Ted Lewis, who also voices King Dedede.
Escargoon is a man of many faults. He can be generally described as a sadist, and particularly relishes in the suffering of Kirby and his friends. He is also intensely selfish, dishonest, and paranoid, to the point where he hides stashes of jewels in the castle from Dedede's even more selfish eyes. He is also openly egotistical and disrespectful to others, and often speaks sarcastically to them, not even sparing insults for King Dedede. As outlined, a lot of Escargoon's negative personality traits stem directly from his treatment by Dedede, who regularly abuses him both physically and emotionally.
However, Escargoon does have some positive attributes as well. Though not quite the genius he describes himself as, he is still intelligent, as he is able to invent and operate complex machinery, formulate effective plans, and make advanced mathematical calculations. Every now and then, he also drops the formality and treats Kirby and his friends with decency, though usually only when it serves his interests. Most notably, Escargoon cares deeply for his mother, and would do anything to please her, even if it incurs the wrath of King Dedede.
Due partly to his status as one of King Dedede's leading court members and partly to his snobbery, Escargoon does not engage much with people outside of Castle Dedede. Often, Escargoon attempts to use his knowledge of other members of the cast to get what he wants, though this usually ends up backfiring. Escargoon's most notable relationships are as follows:
- King Dedede - Escargoon spends most of his time near King Dedede, serving as his primary assistant and the primary target of the king's abusive nature. Whenever Dedede is outraged for any reason, if Escargoon is within range, he is almost certain to be either yelled at, smacked in the head with Dedede's fist, or clobbered by Dedede's hammer. Escargoon is also often the primary subject of King Dedede's pranks, which tend more often than not to cross the line into genuine hurtfulness. Despite this, Escargoon and Dedede also tend to share each-others' successes and joy, and are often seen gloating together when something goes their way. Usually, Escargoon is willing to put up with Dedede's outbursts, but sometimes the king pushes things too far, prompting Escargoon to hatch a revenge plan against him.
- Kirby - Escargoon is typically antagonistic against the pink Star Warrior, usually following in King Dedede's lead. Much like Dedede, this animosity towards Kirby is likely due to jealousy, as unlike Escargoon, Kirby is consistently liked by those around him. Unlike Dedede, however, Escargoon is more willing to put this animosity aside and cooperate with Kirby when he sees reason to. In Escar-Gone, he is particularly touched when Kirby is the only person who treats him like anything other than a stranger.
- Tiff - Escargoon holds particular contempt for Tiff, and sees her as a rival intellect to his. He takes every opportunity he can to belittle and bully her, and uses King Dedede as cover to prevent her from retaliating. He takes particular relish whenever he believes he has outsmarted her. Tiff in turn is forced to tolerate him, but she is not afraid to call him out the same way she does King Dedede.
- Tuff - Escargoon usually does not pay Tuff much mind. When he does, however, it is usually in the interest of playing to Tuff's selfishness in order to get him to do something for Escargoon, as was the case in the episode Escargoon Squad.
- Meta Knight - Escargoon appears to be aware of Meta Knight's disloyalty to King Dedede. However, since he is generally unable to get King Dedede to understand this, nothing typically comes of it.
- N.M.E. Sales Guy - Escargoon understands full-well that King Dedede is being ripped off by Night Mare Enterprises and repeatedly tries to get King Dedede to stop resorting to them for monsters, and instead rely on his inventions and methods. However, since Escargoon is just as unsuccessful, he cannot get this message through.
- Waddle Dees - Escargoon often takes out his frustration by bullying the Waddle Dees of the castle. Despite this, the Waddle Dees continue to serve him faithfully.
- Escargoon's mother - Escargoon's mother is the only person that Escargoon truly cares for. He will do anything to please her, which includes lying to her about being the king of Dream Land. When she comes to visit, he is forced to play out this lie and convinces the rest of Cappy Town to play along. Escargoon's mother appears to understand her son's faults, but still cares for him in return.
The following is a complete list of all of Escargoon's appearances in Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, along with other information regarding his role in each episode:
|Escargoon's appearances in Kirby: Right Back at Ya!|
|Kirby Comes to Cappy Town||Primary character||"That's King Dedede!" (in response to the villagers describing the monster)|
|A Blockbuster Battle||Secondary character||"If they find Kirby a place to live, pretty soon, every face in town will be pink!"|
|Kirby's Duel Role||Secondary character||"Keep your nose out of the King's business...if you even have a nose."|
|Dark and Stormy Knight||Secondary character||"You've been aiding an alien, you traitor!"|
|Beware: Whispy Woods!||Secondary character||"For too long, Dream Land suffered from the lack of a world-class golf facility, but once again our visionary King Dedede has taken wise, yet bold action! We now have this taxpayer-supported, closed-to-the-public, chemically-fertilized course where Whispy Woods once stood!"|
|Un-Reality TV||Primary character||"Here are the shows that'll keep ya stuck to your vinyl recliners! At 7, it's the adventures of that very heavyweight crime fighter 3-D Man! At 7:30, watch as contestants compete for cash and prizes on Wheel of Head Wounds! Then at 8, the staff of D R confronts an outbreak of hernias...bad ones! Next, the far east meets the old west when King of the Kitchen cooks beef jerky-aki! Then at 9:30, the Snail Hunter searches for my long-lost brother! At 10, the crew of the S.S. Dede-prise deals with some very intense motion sickness on Dededeep Space Nine! Tonight's late movie is Globzilla Destroys Guam and the late-late movie is King Klong Vs. the Houston Astros?!" *sigh* "Stay where you are, we'll be back after this..." *faints*|
|Kirby's Egg-Cellent Adventure||Secondary character||"Ditch the decoy, I'm watching my waistline!"|
|Curio's Curious Discovery||Secondary character||"Hear ye, citizens of Dream Land! All rise and solute his most miserly and right rancorous Majesty! The 17,052nd ruler in his line, his Highness King Dedede!"|
|The Fofa Factor||Primary character||Why'd you have to mix us all up with sheep? I know you like fleecing your subjects, but this is ridiculous!|
|Hail to the Chief||Secondary character||"You could have been hurt in that crash, but luckily, your stomach acts as a built-in air bag."|
|The Big Taste Test||Primary character||"Assault with pepper!" *chuckles*|
|Escargoon Squad||Primary character||"The other night, I went to the library and he scared the Dewey decimal outta me!"|
|Cappy New Year||Primary character||"Maybe now, you'll wise up! Why bankrupt yourself buying monsters when you got a genius like me workin' for ya?"|
|The Pillow Case||Secondary character||"Sire, they're from Night Mare Enterprises. When did anything that came from them ever work?"|
|Kirby's Pet Peeve||Secondary character||"And so I says I'm not goin' skinny dipping!"|
|A Fish Called Kine||Secondary character||"No offense, Your Majesty, but that get-up makes you look like a deep-sea doofus, and besides, you only need a snorkel outside the submarine, not inside!"|
|The Thing About the Ring||Primary character||"There you are, my twinkling little treasures! I bet none of you's made of glass! Little does King Greedede know I've been collecting you glittery goo-gahs for years!"|
|Flower Power||Secondary character||"So long, Cappy Town. Hello, Nappy Town!"|
|Here Comes the Son||Secondary character||"Hey, wise guy! This is a king, your talkin' about! You can't insult him because he's fat, or because he's a big ignoramus, or because he's a tight-wad!"|
|Dedede's Snow Job||Secondary character||"Heh! He turned steamin' Dream Land into a winter wonderland!"|
|A Princess in Dis-Dress||Secondary character||"Are you sure? He knows where all the hot spots are! He knows where you can get a pizza at 3 in the morning!"|
|Island of the Lost Warrior||Secondary character||"According to my calculations, our storm should have washed them ashore here."|
|The Empty Nest Mess||Primary character||"Let me hang on! Maybe your belly'll break our fall!"|
|Ninja Binge||Secondary character||"I shoulda known I'd take a plunge if I used plungers!"|
|Escargoon Rules||Primary character||"Pipe down, peasants, or I'll have your tax returns audited!"|
|Hour of the WolfWrath||Secondary character||"Ah. I don't think it's housebroken!"|
|The Flower Plot||Secondary character||"The flower monster's suckin' all the life force out of Whispy just like we planned!"|
|Labor Daze||Primary character||"There are your new uniforms...and wear some undergarments!"|
|A Spice Odyssey||Secondary character||"But Majesty, we've got other choices: Instant noodles, cat food, crunchy liver and bacon flavored dog treats, hmm?"|
|Hatch Me If You Can||Secondary character||"Reading up on egg-xistentialism?"|
|Abusement Park||Primary character||"Let me get this straight! All we have to do is get Kirby up here and have him sing a song?!" *mock-singing* "Iii-- ain't nothing but a pink blob; suckin' all the tiiime!" *gets teleported*|
|A Dental Dilemma||Primary character||"You'll forget about your teeth if you have pain somewhere else!"|
|Junk Jam||Secondary character||"His Highness loves littering, but this is ridiculous!"|
|A Recipe for Disaster||Primary character||"With Kawasaki's cooking, I hope there's a doctor in the house."|
|The Kirby Derby - Part I||Primary character||"Well it sure beats that tacky tank we used to drive."|
|The Kirby Derby - Part II||Primary character||"Kirby's slippery as an oil slick!"|
|Watermelon Felon||Primary character||"Dede-delightful spring morning air freshener! Whether you're sniffin' out crime or enjoying private time, it's Dede-delightful: cause everything else just stinks!"|
|A Novel Approach||Primary character||"This is worse than your kingdom being invaded! Our ratings are down to zero!"|
|Escar-Gone||Primary character||"Look, Buster! I wasn't hatched yesterday, you know, so unless you want trouble with a capital T, I suggest you drop the amnesia act now!"|
|Monster Management||Secondary character||"What are you laughin' at? Knuckle Joe just made you look like a knuckle-head!"|
|Prediction Predicament - Part I||Primary character||*singing* "Oh!
Grind up the bitty coffee beans;
boil up the water then...
Chug about eleven cups;
you'll never sleep again!"
|Prediction Predicament - Part II||Primary character||"You did it! You lovable lug, ya! You finally listened to your heart for once!"|
|Sheepwrecked||Secondary character||"When it comes to tellin' the truth, Tiff is like a broken calculator: You can't count on it!"|
|War of the Woods||Secondary character||"I'm afraid that we're both drifting apart! Can't you feel it, Sire?"|
|Scare Tactics - Part I||Primary character||"I almost gave away our whole scam! Kirby may be cute, but when you're not lookin', he'll scare the sheet off a' ya!"|
|Scare Tactics - Part II||Primary character||"We can finally bid adios to that airhead once and forever!"|
|Pink-Collar Blues||Primary character||"Why does this lousy kingdom have to be full a' so many ball-shaped bozos, anyhow?"|
|Tourist Trap||Primary character||"Go stand in the corner with the rest of the relics!"|
|Cartoon Buffoon||Primary character||"Don't get mad at the poor guy! He's only drawin' what he sees!"|
|Don't Bank on It||Primary character||"Your doll may vary. Do not operate heavy machinery while holding this doll. Offer void when prohibited by common sense."|
|Kirby Takes the Cake||Secondary character||"This is gonna overthrow your waistline, huh, Sire?"|
|Snack Attack - Part I||Primary character||"Plus, Bookem couldn't afford to keep the King locked up. He ate him outta house and jail!"|
|Snack Attack - Part II||Secondary character||"We can't even win when we cheat!"|
|Masher 2.0||Secondary character||"This machine will increase the user's natural powers by more than a hundred fold!|
- Escargoon appears in one of King Dedede's attacks in the Kirby Quest mode in Kirby Mass Attack.
- Despite being anatomically similar to a snail, Escargoon appears to have an internal skeleton, as evidenced in episodes like Abusement Park where he can be heard cracking his knuckles.
Escargoon dressed up like Princess Rona
A photo of Escargoon and Professor Curio appraising a fossil
Escargoon and King Dedede embracing as the world ends in Prediction Predicament - Part II
Escargoon with a possessed appearance, from Scare Tactics - Part II
Escargoon is hammered by King Dedede while taking a shower, referencing the famous shower murder scene from Alfred Hitchcock's movie Psycho.
Oddly-detailed drawing of Escargoon from the cartoon in Cartoon Buffoon
Names in other languages