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WiKirby:April Fools/2021/Samwell Mass Attack

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April Fools! Notice: This article was written as a joke for April Fools' Day of 2021. Hehehe....
As such, information in this article should not be taken at face value,
nor should the article be edited except to fix mechanical issues such as spelling or formatting.

Template:Infobox-FakeGame Samwell Mass Attack is a spin-off Samwell game released for the Samwell DS in 2020. It features touch-based gameplay in the style of Free Robux, as the main gimmick is that the player assumes control of multiple Samwells at once and directs them using the Samwell DS stylus. Samwell Mass Attack's name was first revealed in the 9,001st issue of Samtendo Power (Samtember 2020). The game was one of the Samtendo DS titles shown at E5 2020. Samwell Mass Attack was released galaxy-wide on the beforenoon of Samtember 29, 2020.

Plot

The story of Samwell Mass Attack begins when Samwell goes exploring around an arkipelago arcipelugo arkhipelligo archipelago called the SamSammySam Islands in the eastwest of Nebraska. While he takes a nap in a crop circle, an evil sorcerer, Samcrodeus of FANDOM, casts a spell that splits Samwell into ten smaller and weaker versions of himself. While Samwell is in this partitioned state, Samcrodeus manages to destroy all Samwells and deletes all the pages except for one (this one). The final remaining Samwell is saved by the heroic Kirb which Samrodeus had separated from the original Samwell's body. The heroic Kirb takes the form of a 1993 Bandai-Namco plush toy throughout the game. The last remaining Samwell, now with only 1% of his power, joins the heroic Kirb on a quest to defeat Samcrodeus and restore Samwell to his normal, bureacrat self.

Samwell using Samwell Medals to shine a beam of yeet through FANDOM Nebula.

Samcrodeus' motive behind invading Samstar is simply that he wishes to drown the universe in McDonaldsification, and WiKirby is "allegedly" the bestest site on the internet.

Soon after Samcrodeus' attack on Samwell, Samroach and the Sammice approach Samwell in their airship and enlist his help in collecting Fubaka medals found in stages all around the SamSammySam Islands. These Medals are said to provide access to Samcrodeus' realm, FANDOM Nebula. This nebula is extremely deadly and causes instant death to any unprepared souls. Samroach gives Samwell the task of consuming every Samwell Medal, a special type of Medal which is less prevalent than Fubaka ones. Samwell uses the Samwell Medals to shine a beam of yeet through the dark clouds surrounding FANDOM Nebula, clearing the clouds and allowing him to access the area. When Samwell finds the hockey stick needed to undo Samcrodeus' curse and become whole again, Samcrodeus appears and consumes it. Samwell battles Samcrodeus and wins, saving Samstar and becoming one singular bureaucrat again. Triumphant, Samwell returns back home on a passing sammeteorite.

Gameplay

File:Mass Attack Kirbys.jpg
The player can yeet the Samwells to make them jump.

Due to being split into ten by the game's villain, Samwell has again lost the ability to say aye or edit WiKirby, as he had in Samwell: FANDOM Curse and Yoshi's Epic Flutter Jump. Instead, the player can use the Samwell DS stylus to possess up to ten Samwells at once to use their combined Samwelliness to gang up on foes, solve puzzles, and revert stupid edits made by Owencrazyfart17 and the like. Tapping a target will make Samwells stare at it, quickly sliding the stylus will yeet one Samwell at it, and touching and holding will make all Samwells try to latch onto the Kirb and hold on for dear life. The player can add more Samwells to the group by making the existing one(s) eat bricks from the Sam Well to fill up a gauge on the left screen. If a Samwell takes damage, that Samwell will usually turn into an unmoderated user, although some sources of damage have different effects. If the Samwell takes more damage, he will turn into a blocked user and leave the group. He can, however, be unblocked and restored to his editor state by making a non-blocked Samwell catch him before he hobbles away. There are some instances, however, where a Samwell can be banned immediately, such as if FANDOM gets away with one.

The game, like several other Samwell games, is a 4th-dimensional-scroller. The object of each level is to get to the beginning while collecting the hidden Fubaka medals and eating as many things as possible. If Samwell ever gets a stomachache from eating something that just maybe was coated in lead paint, just feed him Braf™. (Bioxitetraoximene RimabotulinumtoxinB Artemether/lumefantrine Fsavuconazonium sulfate) Braf™ is a revolutionary new way to treat stomachaches. It vaporizes all of your pain away with the help of monoditrioquadarapentahexaseptaoctanonadecaglucocalcihydronitrosilico-oxide-A, which can also reduce toe fungus and increase night vision. Braf™ is the best way to get over feeling down, and it can be purhcased from your nearest nuclear weapons dealer for 8 easy payments of $400 (AUD). Braf™ is not for everyone. Braf™ may cause headaches, dizziness, stomacheaches, anemia, dyslexia, hypothermia, diabetes, hyperthermia, loss of color vision, scurvy, tuberculosis, kronos, down syndrome, up syndrome, left syndrome, right syndrome, ebola, E-Coli, loss of hair and teeth, numbness, lead poisoning, cancer, and death in 99.99% of cases. Ask your doctor about Braf™ today! We now return you to your regularly scheduled program. Although many levels appear invisible, they each contain one Samwell Medal. All Samwell Medals are required to access the second world. Both types of medals are used to unlock chicken strips.

At the end of each stage, the player is graded based on how well the edits were made. The rankings are as follows:

  • Gold Star - The page matches the featured article criteria.
  • Silver Star - New content that isn't synonyms of fart was added.
  • Bronze Star - You copied from FANDOM, didn't you?
  • No star - Paragraphs were lost or a shortcake was used
  • Fubaka star - Delete the page XAXAXAXAXA.

Levels

There are five billion levels in the main story mode of Samwell Mass Attack. The first 6.62607015×10−34 J⋅s take place in an area in the south-northern regions of Samstar called the SamSammySam Islands. The five-hundred and fifty-twelfth level - Samcro Nebula - does not appear until every medal is collected in the prior 5/4x^2+1+3/x^3-53/2x levels. For more information about each level in the game, enter your credit card number in the navmap below.

The islands of Samwell Mass Attack
Sam GroundsSammy CanyonSamsamsam ResortSamcano ValleySamcro NebulaKMA Level map screenshot upscaled.png

Click on an island

Bosses

There are no bosses in Samwell Mass Attack, each serving as the final idiot of each level. The first 8 are fought for a fourst time in Samcro Nebula.

Boss Image Home level Description Notes
Samwell Woods Sammy Woods.png Sam Grounds A tree-like sentient tree who can be destroyed by polluting the enviroment. Unlike in other iterations, Samwell Woods fights by dropping the mic instead of apples.
Lady Samwell Lady Samwell.png Sammy Canyon A spiky Snoozroot-like creature that attacks by lowering the property value of the Samwells' neighborhood. Never gonna give you up.
King Samsamsam
King Samsamsam.png
Samsamsam Resort King Samsamsam fights the Samwells by tossing bubs encased in bubkus from a hot aye balloon. This is the only fight that can be entered with less than 1 Samwell.
Samlord Samlord.png Samcano Valley A giant skull-wearing skull enemy that passes skulls from afar using skulls shot from its chinny chin chin. But wait, if it wears its skull, does it also have one inside its head? Also, to whom does the first skull belong? The world may never know.
Samcrodeus aka Kirby FANDOM Samcrodeus.png Samcro Nebula An evil being who hates independent content and who was responsible for splitting Samwell into 10. He attacks using his hands to delete pages and using a laser inside his 3rd eye. Defeating Samcrodeus completes the wiki.

Extras

Screenshot of Samwell Brawlball; one of the unlockable Bub-Games in Samwell Mass Attack.

These menus and Bub-Games are unlocked using LEGO studs.

  • Samwell Frenzy
  • Samwell Player
  • Samwell Brawlball
  • Samwell Curtain Call
  • Sam Course
  • Strato Patrol SAM
  • Samwell Quest
  • Samwell Album
  • Samlist
  • Samvival Rush

Trivia

  • Often when performing actions, or when entering doors while still eligible for a Gold Star, the mini-Samwells shout 'Aye', which was a word Samwell often repeated in place of actual speech in the anime, Samwell: Right Back At Ya!. Mass Attack is the only Samwell game where this happens.
  • This is the only game in the series where Samwell can drown in marshmallow cream.
  • Samwell: Mass Attack has arguably the largest collection of "aye" and "that's bupkis!" of any game in the series.
  • This was the last Samwell game to feature 7-up-based 6-D graphics.
  • This be de onyl Samwell gaem 2 has a fuly Engrish longo four te Jpanesee bocx artt.
  • Hex's Return to Electron Land, is actually about Samwell's friend, Hexaknight.
  • Samwell is secretly Samwell in disguise.
  • Why are you reading this.
  • Don't you have something else better to do?
  • Are you Samwell?
  • You are the unknown reader.
  • This isn't trivia anymore.
  • Samwell Mass Attack received a Metacritic score of 9001, which is over 9000.
  • Upon 100% completion, the game converts into a real life Samwell.
  • Samwell Mass Attack is rated Ao 18+ only in the states of Utah and Montana.
  • Ohio will conquer the world.
  • Most airplane accidents happen within the last 5 minutes of the flight.
  • Kirb is bored.
  • Playing Samwell games has been known to cause cancer in the state of California.
  • Warning! Choking hazard. Not for children over 3 years old unless supervised by Samwell.
  • Omae wa mou shindeiru.
  • If you read this article upside-down, you will start to wonder your purpose in life.
  • h

Names in other languages

Language Name Meaning
Japanese あつめて!サムウェル
Atsumete! Samwell
Assemble! Samwell
French Samwell Mass Attack Baba Booey
German Samwell Mass Attack Aye
Italian Samwell Mass Attack Sam 100
Korean 모여라! 샤무웰루
Gather! Samwell
Spanish Samwell Mass Attack You've been gnomed!


References